Are you being loved or just manipulated?

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A relationship between two people is usually based on trust, affection and respect. To love and be loved is the most precious feeling a person can have, but in some cases – with the passage of time – people stop loving, don’t spare time for their partners, become dispassionate and even start manipulating each other.

At the beginning of any relationship, everything goes on smoothly and harmoniously, but gradually it starts to fall apart. The routine should not be solely blamed that has become entrenched and boring, but rather the fact that relationships turn sour. A long, pleasant relationship may lead to manipulation, contempt, and sadness. Some people manipulate relationships in order to get others do what they want because they need to be in control of everything.

Let’s see some signs of manipulation in love :

– It is expected that every move, thought, and feeling will be reported to each other. If one person is unwilling to tell all, it is assumed that he/she is hiding something

– Both persons start being deceitful

– Both lose love and intimacy towards each other, feel no need for spending time together and keep on ignoring the other all the time

– Both becoming dissimilar in opinions and start developing different interests

– One person expects unilateral support for his/her opinions, choices and desires, declaring somewhat of an attitude which is like: “If you say you love me then you have to love everything about me, under all conditions, and all the time.”

Where any form of strong-arm tactics are used, the relationship takes an ugly turn and becomes something harmful to both sides.


Redeeming such a relationship is possible with the implementation of a wise plan, strongly re-defined boundaries and long-lasting commitment. Willingness and desire to be together, equality between you and your partner and mutual respect may become the hallmark of a healthy relationship.

Following are the ways through which people can maintain their love and affection with their companions:

  1. Be honest and truthful to your lover. Don’t hide things from him/her. If he/she says or does something that hurt your feelings, let him/her know about that, as these small things create the need for sugar-coated manipulations and lies
  2. Spend some time together and share information about work and family and other commitments or interests so you are able to nourish the sense of being best friends
  3. As you get reunited at the end of the work commitments, there must be a need to genuinely look forward to seeing each other at the end of another demanding day
  4. The opportunity to hug each other and let go some of the stress is very special as it brings warmth in the relationship
  5. Look for, remember, and openly share the great things about your beloved
  6. Demonstrate your love, care, and concern for your beloved

It depends on us how we want to see our relationships becoming…based on manipulation, sugar-coated lies, or based on love, care and affection. Someone wisely said the following:

“Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his/her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.”

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